Why are we affected by the personal choices of others?


Here’s a fictional scenario.  

A friend is having a baby. She’s been in labour for a good few hours and when her newborn finally arrives, she gets straight on Facebook, posting beautiful pictures and sharing her happiness. She doesn’t tell you directly, but you get a call from someone else, filling you in.  

Let’s look at the facts first. The new mother made the decision about how to express and share her news: on Facebook. You received the information: not from the direct source, but from a mutual friend. It’s possible that she was exhausted and felt that the most efficient way to share her news was with one quick post. But actually, it doesn’t matter why she did it this way. She doesn’t need to explain herself. It was a choice about how to do things in her own life.  

Why is it then, that we can get so entangled in our own emotions and feelings of upset? We can become rather judgmental and label it as the right or wrong way to do something. In this case, it might be that we just wanted to feel special; to be called directly and know that we were thought of. In an ideal world, we’d be considered 100% of the time. But when it comes to how an individual chooses to run their life, well, can’t we accept and respect their decisions? By no means am I in that mind frame as yet, but we can say that I’m aiming for it. It would definitely save a lot of heartache and energy.


Written by Rebecca Hatfield on 23rd Jan 2018 

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